


Chris in Sakaarland

by elenatria



Series: Taikris [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Anal, Angst, Hiddlesworth, Jealousy, M/M, Oral, Portal Fantasy, Sex in the Trailer, hemsworthiti, sex in the men's room, taichris, taikris
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-03-25 16:58:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13839114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elenatria/pseuds/elenatria
Summary: Chris would be tormented by tough choices and horrible dilemmas if he wasn't too busy, too tired, too disillusioned by the inevitable changes in life and by friendships that are not what they used to be.For the time being he's enjoying the full attention of his director - Taika isn't giving him much of a choice anyway.





	1. Pinky swear

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a follow-up to ["Give first"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13427892), my other Taikris fic, although I had to change some facts from the previous fic as I wrote this one. It gets more complicated and weird than being 100% Taikris but I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> [My tumblr](http://elenatria.tumblr.com/)   
> 

                                                                               

 

It wasn’t supposed to last more than a day.

They fucked in the trailer, had a cup of hot fragrant coffee afterwards cracking a few jokes about it and agreed it couldn’t be more than a one-time thing. They met on set the following morning like the driven professionals they were and that’s it, that should be the end of it. “Pinky swear,” Taika had suggested holding out his finger to Chris as they were finishing their cappuccinos.

_Pinky swear._

Still Chris couldn’t help noticing that Taika was avoiding eye contact the following day even when he was directly addressing him as well as being more agitated than usual, having little outbursts of impatience when the jokes weren’t as funny as he wanted them or when someone missed a line. He was being such a “stickler” that day, sticking to the lines of the script word for word. No ad-libbing was allowed.

“Is that in the page, Chris?” he would yell in the microphone. “Is that what’s written?”

“I know what’s in the page,” Chris would reply, annoyed. “I can _read.”_

Other times, when Chris was busy studying his lines while tapping his thumb on his lip absent-mindedly or taking a swig of water from a plastic bottle, Taika would be sneaking glances at him just before turning to his assistant or going back to reading his notes, chewing on his pen like it was licorice, and from the looks of it that pen tasted better. Chris could almost feel on his back his big laser eyes scanning him thoroughly if only for a moment. When he sat in Taika’s tent to watch some of that day’s footage with Tessa and Mark he was sure he spotted at least three pens, scattered on the ground, looking like worn dog toys.

That lasted about two days, four hours and sixteen minutes, until the awkward truce between them was broken by a hesitant knock on Chris’ trailer door.

One knock. Then two. As if someone was taking a deep thoughtful breath between knocks, balancing on one foot on the top step, torn between staying and running away.

Admittedly Chris was relieved to see his director looking at him straight in the eye again like nothing  had happened, not only because there were times he thought Taika was mad at him for reasons he couldn’t fathom but because, dammit, he was missing his friend. 

Now he didn’t look all that closed-up and aloof; the old Taika was back, clean-shaven, smiling, barging into the trailer with eyes wide open, a cheerful “Heeeeeyyyyy!”, a pack of sketches, storyboards and his iPad in his hands, ready to shower Chris with new ideas.

Ideas, drafts, jokes, gags.

And kisses. Way too many kisses.

Chris was shocked and relieved at the same time. “So he’s not mad at me after all,” he thought as he closed his eyes relishing every moment of those frantic kisses, letting himself be pinned to the wall as he was carried away by Taika’s fervour. It wasn’t like him to be overpowered by a man smaller than him but Taika had the will of a titan that, under the circumstances, could easily surpass Chris’ strength. Chris tried to get some explanation from him for his cold behaviour on set but he was quickly shushed by hasty fingers pulling his T-shirt over his shoulders and unbuckling his belt.

“There goes-” he gasped, his laughter choked by lips tightening relentlessly around his thick erection. “There goes the… _AH._ The pinky swear… _oh god… Oh…_ Jesus, Taika…”

He gulped down hard and took a sharp breath in, leaning his head against the wall as he tangled his fingers in rich silver hair, pulling his friend closer, sinking in him deeper. The hot slippery depths of Taika’s throat were closing in around him, knowing what he liked, making him give out helpless grunts with each thrust as Chris tried to resist the urge to come in that mouth after just a few violent pushes. However Taika’s hands pulling his hips in time with the thrusts weren’t helping much. Chris almost tripped. He could easily lose his balance if he gave in to Taika’s insatiable rhythm. He tried to steady himself as he squeezed his eyes shut, struggling to pull out _(“Pinky swear pinky swear it’s not too late oh god pinky swear…”)_ but once more he was bent to his director’s will, completely giving in to those expert lips as he found release shooting his load uncontrollably, crying out like a sixteen-year-old.

He was so naïve to think he could resist that extraordinary mouth, that extraordinary man and his gift for bliss. His body was still in orgasmic shock, a hot wave washing his thoughts away as he felt that persistent tongue lapping at his cum, that fist still firm around his cock, still squeezing and yanking up and down his foreskin right under the tip with movements that were steadily, _knowingly_ growing slower.

Those expert hands. Those expert loving hands.

_Those-_

_Ah…_

He panted, shuffling his feet in a position that would prevent him from collapsing to the floor like a rag doll. He tilted his head on the side to get a better look at that beautiful face that was making his cock feel like the most precious thing in the whole world. He brushed his fingers through Taika’s hair and bit his lip trying not to close his eyes in ecstasy. He knew Taika enjoyed eye contact. He knew Taika never let him out of his sight while he was climaxing, not for one second.

It wasn’t over. Before Chris could regain control of his loose limbs Taika got up and his hands were all over him again. “You had your fun,” he quipped, “now it’s my turn.”

Chris helped him get rid of his shirt as they kissed and sighed and panted and laughed, taking small awkward steps towards the bed, making Taika walk backwards since it was Chris’ time to take control, leading him, easing him down on the mattress, unbuttoning and removing his jeans, pushing his way between his thighs. Chris traced Taika’s body with kisses and bites from the navel to his neck. When he reached his ear his dark husky tone made Taika’s member twitch with anticipation. “Tell me how you want to be fucked,” he snarled, “on your knees or on your back.”

Taika sniggered and closed his eyes, his ribs hurting from Chris’ weight pressing down on him. “Can I get both?” he egged him on, delighted, “or is that too much to ask? You’re not too tired, are you?”

Chris’ smile broadened. “Is that a challenge?” he murmured in his neck as he rubbed Taika’s hard-on, his fingers tightening around the tip, longing for Taika’s reaction as he felt the  crack with his cock.

“You know I always try to extract the best performance from my actors, I have a reputation to up- _UH…AH!...”_ Taika squeezed his eyes shut.

“What was that?” Chris groaned. “I can’t hear you...”

Taika tried to joke but his sharp mind couldn’t come up with anything as he felt his hole being split open. After a few thrusts he got used to the pain and started moving to Chris’ rhythm. “Are you _tuh_ -taking revenge on me, Chris?...” he panted grasping tightly his leading man’s ass. “For fucking you the _uh-_ other… day?.. _Uuuuh…_ Oh. Oh _god…”_

Chris didn’t answer, he just lifted his torso pushing down his pelvis and smiled at him as his thrusts grew harder and faster. It was a magnanimous, merciful smile for he knew how he was making Taika feel – he could hear it in his surprised gasps, he could feel it in the tiny jerks of Taika’s throbbing member against his firm chiseled stomach, in the shameless clenching of his ravaged hole. Taika kept his dark mesmerized eyes fixed on Chris’, his wet half-open lips letting out lustful sighs. And when Chris wrapped his strong fingers around his erection stroking him, slowly rubbing his warm firm abdomen against his balls, Taika closed his eyes listlessly enjoying the sensation of the other man’s body on his naked skin, opening his legs wider to let him in, encouraging the movements of those perfectly formed hips with his heels. Chris was literally grinding him _into_ the mattress. He had decided to not let him have any kind of control this time so he held Taika’s wrists over his head and pinned them on the bed with one hand. He had such a strong hold on him that Taika didn’t think to resist, he just moaned. Chris kissed him through his desperate grunts and when he felt like he wasn’t filling him up enough he shoved his thumb in Taika’s mouth extracting a new series of moans. The lips closed around his finger and the tongue swiftly curled around it. When Chris removed it he smeared Taika’s lips with his own spit making them all sleek and kissed him releasing his hands. Taika was more than eager to finally wrap his arms around Chris’ broad back.

He grabbed his ass as if begging to be ruined. “Fuck me…” he demanded as his head lolled back on the pillow, his big half-closed eyes gleaming with desire. “Fuck me hard.”

It didn’t take much for Chris to give up having control. He immediately obeyed like a good boy, like the loyal friend that he was; after all he could never deny his genius director anything.

With long violent thrusts he rammed his thick hard cock into Taika’s ass until his cries got so loud and obscene that Chris had to shut him up with a hand over his mouth. The muffled cries reached a fervent peak while Chris pounded mercilessly into him, and they grew softer as they turned into post-orgasmic sighs and sweet whimpers hissing feverishly, uncontrollably through Chris’ fingers. Chris’ climax came shortly after making him pump his load inside that exquisite tightness; Taika knew how to clench his hole and milk him dry even after his own pleasure was complete.

He was such a generous human being after all.

Chris rested his sweaty forehead on Taika’s removing his hand from his lips just enough to kiss him between pants and sighs.

They were both exhausted – and happy.

Chris rolled on his back and rested his hand on his chest trying to catch his breath. When he turned on his side Taika was still breathing heavily, eyes closed, chest heaving as the aftershocks of his orgasm were sweeping his body.

When Chris first cast eyes on that smug exotic face six years ago he was thrilled by his wit, his humour, his compassion, but he never thought one day he’d make him feel _that_ way. Taika was always generous and loving and affectionate with everyone he met, still he gave the impression he would never give more to anyone. Everyone had equal chances at winning Taika’s love but in truth, people could only get so close.  

Chris felt as if he had won a prize somehow; he knew he had experienced something unique and rare, but apparently he wasn’t the only one. Looking at him now he could tell Taika was feeling the same as he panted softly, his eyelids heavy on his deep dark eyes as he stared into the void, as if contemplating each second of that extreme intimacy they had just shared, and its intensity.

Chris smiled and moved to get up but Taika’s hand on his belly stopped him.

“Don’t go. Not yet,” he cooed and shifted his weight closer to Chris, wrapping his tattooed arm around his chest, resting his chin on Chris’ shoulder with a grin of contentment.

Chris looked down to his groin that was glistening with semen. “I’m a _mess,”_ he pointed out.

Ignoring him, Taika adjusted his cheek comfortably on his chest and the silly grin on his face grew wider. He closed his eyes. “I don’t care.”

“Taika-”

“There I’ll clean you up, use the bloody sheets, Chris, gee…” Taika snapped and wiped him impatiently with the cover that had been reduced to a shapeless bundle between them. And then, as if everything was an invitation for more intimacy, as if they had all the time in the world to explore each other’s bodies in what seemed like an endless afternoon, Taika slowly licked the remnants of Chris’ seed from his flaccid cock, his belly, his thighs. He had made him come twice in less than an hour and he would surely brag about it to everyone he met if he didn’t want to keep that Greek statue of a man for himself.

When he was done he rested his cheek on Chris’ stomach and flashed him an earnest, childlike smile.

“Chris?...”

“Yeah?”

“Do you… _like_ me at all?” Taika muttered drumming his fingers on those carved-up abs as if trying to make his question sound less thoughtful, less serious.

Chris lifted his head startled, then let it fall on the mattress again and sniggered. “What kind of question is that?”

“The kind that suggests I’m insecure and seek your approval even after having being fucked by your criminally enormous dick.”

Chris ran his fingers through Taika’s grey curls. He always wanted to mess with that tousled mop, ever since he met him, when it was still raven black.

“Of course I do,” he murmured furrowing his brow, surprised by his friend’s doubts, “although you _can_ be a pain in the ass sometimes.”

Taika snorted and giggled rolling on his back, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably but making sure his head didn’t get far from Chris’ tender touch. He wouldn’t miss this warm heartfelt contact for the world, not even when he was being his usual sarcastic self. “Did you _have_ to be so literal?..” he chortled.

Chris guffawed embarrassed as he dug his fingers deeper into his hair, massaging his skin, untangling the silver strands lazily. “C’mon, I mean it, you were such a stickler today,” he said softly twirling a curl around his finger.

“A stickler?...” Taika yelped. “For telling you and Mark that you were supposed to high five and not hold hands?”

 _“NO,_ Taika, not that,” Chris giggled.

“You kept forgetting your lines! You weren’t saying what was in the script and I know it because I was _fucking reading it.”_

Chris laughed and sighed. “I guess this is the price I have to pay for working with a mad genius, right? Ruthless perfectionism.”

“That and the occasional dicking in the trailer between takes,” Taika added.

“Ah yes, relentless sarcasm too,” Chris shook his head and rolled his eyes in fake derision. “Not that I don’t love it.”

Taika shrugged giving Chris his adorable impish “Viago” smile and freed his arm to caress his lips with his finger. Chris let out a sigh as Taika pushed it in his mouth and then took it out to lick his taste, staring into his eyes.

Chris narrowed his eyes as the thoughts and doubts of the past two days made their inevitable return like evening shadows. “Why did you come back, Taika?”

Taika stood on his elbows frowning like a kid. “Don’t you want me to?...” he whispered with a hint of uncertainty.

“Well… you did make me take a pinky swear after we fucked the other day. You said this should be a one-time thing,” Chris replied lifting up his little finger.

Taika smirked, pulled Chris’ hand and pushed his little finger in and out of his mouth a few times with a rhythm so slow and tantalizing that he made Chris sigh again, deeper this time, longer.

“See?” he said twirling his tongue around Chris’ finger. “I just licked your pinky clean of that vow. Happy?”

Chris chuckled. “You in for another round?...”

“Nooooo I’m drowsy,” Taika said as he closed his eyes and laid his head on Chris’ chest. “I’d like to rest a bit before I go back to the nightmare that is going through today’s footage. Plus getting dicked by you is _exhausting_ , bro, I have to take you in small doses.”

“This is _not_ what you told me when you entered this trailer,” Chris teased.

“You should have met me when I was working on smaller films. I had more stamina then, you wouldn’t get out of bed before sunset. Or sunrise. It depends.”

Chris burst into laughter while Taika comfortably adjusted his hand between his cheek and his leading man’s chest. Chris slowly went back to breathing normally and only then did he hear the silent vibrating of his phone that he had left on the floor beside the bed. With slow moves he picked it up careful not to wake Taika who was already snoring and looked at the name on the screen.

Taika lifted his head from his chest just enough to peer at the phone, squinting his sleepy eyes. “What was that?”

Chris opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, hesitating. “Nothing. Uuuh. It was-”

He swiped the screen to reject the call avoiding Taika’s eyes, trying not to think, trying to forget the name before even mentioning it.

This was not the time.

 _"Uh -"_ he said eventually. "It was Tom.”


	2. Blue Nail Polish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Chris forgets about Tom's phone call he remembers Wizard World, the party by the pool, the unnecessary secrets and that bitter taste of scotch in his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A necessary flashback.

                                                                           

 

Chris was finding it hard to forget about Tom’s unanswered phone call even when he was lazily brushing his fingers through Taika’s curls as he had him sleeping on his naked chest. He and Tom hadn’t really seen each other outside of the set for almost a month now, since he had invited them all at his place in Byron Bay, an two-hour drive from Brisbane. He remembered how hot that day was, how he had regretted deciding to throw a party the very minute he announced it to everyone the day before. All the details from that day came back to him as he traced Taika’s spine with the tips of his fingers: Tom’s glasses, the gazebo, the nail polish, the heat.

That unexpected, unbearable July heat.

 

The cool glass of scotch on the rocks against his hot forehead seemed to have the soothing effect he had been craving for since he woke up that Saturday, sweaty and still tired from yesterday’s exhausting filming schedule. He had spent the whole day preparing the house for fifty guests, most of them cast and crew, getting the buffet filled with drinks and all kinds of Australian dishes like barbecued prawns, potato cakes, scallops and meat pies. It had been some time since he had hosted a party alone but he thought it would be a piece of cake, all he had to do was call The Larder to tend to the catering. Truth is, he was much more needed in the house than he had expected and he realized that on a hot July day like this he’d rather be at the beach waxing his surfboard than hopelessly sweating in his white shirt and trousers, trying to make small talk with the partners and spouses of his colleagues, people he had never met before and would probably never see again.

Unfortunately there were too many of them and he felt he was wasting his time talking here and there; there was only one person in that crowd he’d rather be spending time with, someone who was busy chatting and laughing with Victoria who had just arrived from L.A. to visit the set. Tom had welcomed her with a heartfelt “Vickyyyy!” and they hadn’t stopped chatting ever since she came out to the garden, both of them giggling while Tom kept calling her “Mrs Alonso” just to tease her for he knew how she despised such formalities. Despite the distance between them Chris was staring so persistently at Tom that he could almost see the wrinkles in the corners of his laughing eyes through his thick glasses. Every little wrinkle, every pore of his skin.

The first time Chris had seen Tom wearing this new pair of glasses was more than a month ago in Philly but he had totally forgotten to tell him how good it looked on him, how it framed beautifully his big blue eyes. He was tired, jetlagged and with such a horrible headache that all he wanted was the Q&A to be over so he could run back to his hotel and sleep for a whole day. In retrospect he thought the headache and the jetlag shouldn’t have stopped him from exchanging a few more words with Tom, both on and off stage, but after thinking over and over again of all the imaginary conversations that could have taken place and being taunted by endless guilt trips, it dawned on him that it wasn’t just his state of mind that prevented him from being warmer to Tom that day.

He had finally remembered; as he was watching Tom answering questions on the stage of Wizard World in his quilted blue jacket and checkered red and blue shirt, his eyes gleaming, his skin fresh, tanned and glowing, cheerful and ready to spill his heart out to the audience, Chris realized what, or who, was the cause of that giddiness. It wasn’t just sitting so close to each other, it wasn’t just Tom’s enthusiasm about working with him again. It was the phone call Tom made minutes before walking up on that stage; he had retreated to a peaceful backstage corner and had dialed the number turning his back on him. Chris had suspected who Tom was talking to with a low purring voice and a childlike smile on his face - he had seen the Met gala clip of him dancing with Taylor back in May. The vid itself meant nothing to him at the time but he did feel a sting of jealousy now seeing Tom’s eyes soften and his voice go mellow over the phone; that moment he knew it was her.

When the phone call ended he decided not to talk about it – he thought if Tom had a relationship he would tell him. They weren’t together anymore but Chris had hoped they could still keep in touch, share stuff like they did before, be honest and open, like nothing had changed.

He was wrong.

 _Everything_ had changed.

Tom didn’t mention Taylor after he hung up, he didn’t mention her when they went for lunch at the Palm with friends after the Q&A, he didn’t mention her when they parted ways in the airport.

And on that stage everything seemed fake; Tom calling him “brother from another mother” and slapping his knee cordially when he had just talked to his new “secret” girlfriend, squeezing Chris’ large bicep just to please the crowds as if they were still together, asking him to be his Romeo and gushing about him going to the gym. It was all a joke. A big fat joke.

“When I put the Loki costume on it always feels like it’s going to be fun,” Tom said turning to him, “especially working with this guy.” He smiled expecting a reaction from him.

Chris smirked awkwardly and aww’ed along with the crowd. That was all the reaction he was willing to give him.

Maybe it was cute when they were together. Maybe it was funny. Now it felt as if Tom was laughing in his face.

_You want smiles from me, Tom?_

_Fuck off, you’re not getting any smiles. Not today, not ever._

After two weeks he was not all that surprised to see the beach shots of Tom and Taylor taken by the paps. However he was bitter that he had to find out through the Sun of all things, and not Tom himself. Reminiscing the day he first cast eyes on that awful tabloid cover he realized why he never commented on those fabulous new glasses: it had been some time since Tom cared about getting compliments from him. It had been some time since Tom cared about anything Chris said or did.

 

“Not getting any smiles from me, mate,” he repeated to himself as he opened his eyes with a sigh and lowered his hand holding the glass of scotch that he had just used as an ice pack on his forehead. He took a sip staring at Tom who had now turned his back on him and was talking to Mark, barely noticing the young blonde with the cherry-red lips who had come to stand next to him under the gazebo with a martini glass in her hand.

“He’s perfect, isn’t he?” she said with a satisfied nod stirring the olive at the bottom of the glass with a cocktail pick. “My agent likes to call him ‘my next mistake’”, she giggled, “but god, look at the ass on _that_ mistake, makes you want to never be correct again.”

Chris cringed internally and turned to her trying hard to smile. “Hey Taylor!” His eyes fell to her long fingers that were still stirring the martini. “Nice nail polish you got there, it… complements your eyes. I guess.”

“You think?” Taylor said cheerfully bending her fingers to inspect them. “I love it, they said it’s called Sakaarian Blue.”

 _“Sakaarian Blue?”_ Chris raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t know Marvel had released Ragnarok merchandise already.”

“Ragnarok merchandise? I don’t know what you’re talking about, I found it in a little shop in Brisbane called ‘Le Cul du Diable.’”

“Weird name, what does it mean?”

“I don’t know,” Taylor shrugged. “The clerk told me they had just opened up, they’re new here. Tom picked the colour for me, isn’t it nice?” she said stretching her arm and spreading her fingers. “He has such good taste,” she smirked.

“Huh,” Chris huffed absent-mindedly and went back to staring at the general direction of Tom and his company, a fact that didn’t escape Taylor.

“I hear you two were close,” she raised her voice nonchalantly trying to get his attention.

“You and the rest of the planet,” Chris mumbled without taking his eyes off Tom.

“Oh I don’t mean the promo tours and the interviews and all that ‘brother from another mother’ bullshit,” she sniggered squeezing her heart-shaped lips on the straw, taking little sips as she threw side-glances at him with her doe eyes.

Chris turned to her slowly as she batted her fake eyelashes and grinned crushing the straw with her perfect white teeth. He sighed and folded his arms across his chest, narrowing his eyes as he felt his cheeks flushing with anger.

“I’m sure there’s a big history…” she continued. “He hasn’t told me details of course, just the general outline.”

 _“Wow,_ Taylor, complicated _words!_ ” Chris enthused. “Did you learn those from your agent as well or did you have to look them up in a dictionary?”

Taylor broke into a high-pitched giggle, shaking, almost spilling her drink on her long golden gown with the red trimming. Chris then realized for the first time how bucked her perfect teeth looked and how “perfectly” fake they were, a fact that made them all the more annoying.

When she finally managed to catch her breath she fanned herself showing off her Sakaarian Blue nails one more time.

“Don’t worry, big guy,” she soothed him. “Tom is known for oversharing. Inevitably he’d get to you too at some point, no biggie. I mean it’s not like he had a whole lot to say,” she said patting his chest condescendingly and walked towards the center of the garden, slipping her hand around Tom’s arm and leaning her cheek close to his lips so as to get a kiss.

Chris fought the urge to break his glass against the gazebo post, instead he splashed his scotch across the grass and motioned towards the pool. As he walked past the deck chairs a long dark-skinned leg with a moko tattoo rose from the ground, stopping him in his tracks.

“Where do you think _you’re_ going?” Taika said, his pineapple headband wrapped around his eyes as he lied leisurely in the afternoon sun.

“How did you see me under that? I thought you were sleeping,” Chris murmured putting his hands in his pockets.

“I can see _everything_ , Chris, I thought you should know,” he said with  feigned arrogance.

“Huh…”

“Don’t ‘huh’ me, bro, sit down,” Taika urged him patting the deck chair next to him.

Chris sat down with an unwilling grunt.

“What is the matterrrrrr?” Taika slurred adjusting the headband on his eyes and rested his hands on the arms of the chair.

“Nothing…” Chris murmured and tangled his fingers as he leaned against his knees.

“She’s an annoying little thing, isn’t she,” Taika continued.

Chris didn’t answer.

The Kiwi director lifted the headband enough to reveal one eye, glancing at the guests that were scattered around the pool. “Aren’t they all enjoying themselves?”

“They are…” Chris agreed.

“But you aren’t.”

“Well, to be honest with you, I’d rather have spent today surfing.”

“Never too late!” Taika sang.

“Naaah it is, there’s no wind.”

“It’s ok,” Taika said rubbing his back, “you’ll go tomorrow. Wow Chris, you’re tense,” he added as he sat up abruptly and kneaded the broad shoulder with his fingers.

“I’m tired…” Chris lamented.

“Here. Let me,” Taika said standing up behind him massaging his shoulders.

Chris let out a deep breath as he watched Taylor whispering in Tom’s ear on the other side of the pool; she then put her arms around her two friends, a blonde and a brunette in skimpy lamé dresses around her age, and shook her hips playfully from side to side. Tom laughed and lowered his eyes, blushing.

“That girl belongs in the Grandmaster’s orgy ship, don’t you reckon?” Taika said dryly.

Chris chuckled and lowered his head allowing Taika to work on the full length of his trapezius. His touch was quite relieving even above the sweaty white shirt. “I guess,” he muttered.

“Talking of the orgy ship I’ve had some ideas lately, can you imagine if you pushed a button that sets off fireworks? And another button that starts a tape singing ‘It’s my birthday’? It’s a leisure vessel after all, it could turn into an enormous disco ball or something.”

Chris laughed.

“See? I made you laugh,” Taika grinned proudly as he rubbed the back of Chris’ neck with his thumb. “And talking about birthdays, mine is in a month, make sure not to miss it.”

 “When is that?”

“August 16th.”

“I’ll bake you a cake then,” Chris joked.

“You do that.”

Chris closed his eyes as he felt the tension leaking out of his body through Taika’s magic fingers. No man had ever massaged him before. He wondered what it would be like if there was no one around that moment, if they were alone, if Taika was as good at giving massages as he claimed, if-

“And oh, Chris, it was about time you tried my massaging skills,” Taika said as if reading his mind. “I mean a full session.”

“Why?”

Taika gaped in astonishment. “Because everyone else has! Besides your birthday is in a month as well, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, August 11th.”

“Far,” Taika said excitedly. “Consider the massage as your birthday present then.”

 

 

Chris smiled and yawned as he contemplated Taika’s elaborate and long-term plan to get under his skin - and into his pants -  while he listened to the steady rhythm of his lover’s breathing; Taika was fast asleep now and probably dreaming, Chris thought, and when he wasn’t looking at you with his judgmental laser eyes he looked like a perfect angel; a sleeping brown-skinned angel. He was starting to feel drowsy as well since they had managed to exhaust each other with their insatiable curiosity that day in the trailer. As darkness began to fall Chris forgot all about Tom’s phone call and fell asleep with Taika in his arms.

He never got to hear his phone buzzing once, twice, then going silent again. He was already dreaming of vast landscapes of garbage, golden gowns and blue nail polish.


	3. A waste of push-ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taika is determined to get more bums on seats. All he has to do is convince Chris to take his shirt off.

                                                                              

 

Chris would normally try hard not to snore in front of the cameras after keeping his eyes closed for as much as three minutes. He had woken up at 5 a.m. as usual to be on set on time and now he was lying on the floor, half-naked, taking what he thought to be a well-deserved nap as Taika was giving directions to the gladiator nurses. He was always grateful for those “sleeping scenes” because the cameras would roll and roll and people would be working their butts off, his co-stars included, and he’d be just lying there, dozing off. The only difference was that this time he kept waking up  because of the hard floor beneath him and the creeping unsettling thought that he was letting Taika influence him more and more day in day out seeing how easily he had managed to talk him into yet another half-naked scene. It had been a while since he had let anyone get under his skin, it meant he was trusting Taika too much and Chris had learned to be wary of people who were winning his trust so easily.

“We need to get some bums on seats, Chris, we need to get the shirt off,” Taika had told him with an apologetic wince.

He didn’t like it at first so he whined and whined until Taika said “You should be proud of yourself, you’ve put so much work in, you’ve chiseled and carved your body into this perfect form and…” He didn’t finish the sentence, his eyes drifted over Chris’ biceps and down his pecs.

Ever since he was a teenager surfing the waves of the Mornington Peninsula Chris had caught many men undressing him with their eyes; he thought he should be used by now and it never occurred to him to imagine what they saw in him, what they liked so much about his blonde and leggy nakedness. He just took it as compliment, an everyday occurrence that stroked his ego just like any waitress not letting him pay for his coffee.  But whenever Taika did it, whenever he stared at him even while giving directions to his assistants, even when talking on the phone, it was more than just a compliment. When Taika complimented him or caressed his body with his big brown eyes he felt all warm inside, impatient, intoxicated.

And dirty.

So dirty that many times he was tempted to stop shooting and drag Taika to the nearest men’s room just to let him remove with hasty moves and little excited giggles his shirt or his gladiator chestplate or whatever was getting in the way, and make him kneel and have a taste of those carved pecs and those chiseled abs and everything that was beneath them. It’s not like they hadn’t fucked in the restroom before between takes, always risking getting caught because Taika’s orgasms were a bit too loud, partly because Chris was ripping him apart, partly because Taika couldn’t give two shits about people overhearing their happy and noisy fornication.

But Chris never felt the urge to stop the shooting like he did now; it was getting harder and harder to resist.

 Taika cleared his throat waking Chris from his reverie. They were on the clock and he didn’t have the luxury to daydream about his protagonist all day long, or let him do the same. “Look, it will be a waste of push ups if you don’t show your body. It’s a disservice to humanity to hide it.”

“Nobody’s going to go see the movie for my abs, c’mon, Taika, I’ve done that program before…”

Taika put his fists on his hips and looked him straight in the eye. “Are you playing hard to get, Chris? Is that it?”

“No…”

“Then take off your bloody shirt! Chop chop.”

And that was the end of the discussion.

 

Now all Chris had to do was just lie there with his eyes closed and wait for Taika’s signal and thrash violently screaming and walk around the room looking all dazed and disoriented. He felt the damp compresses being placed on his shoulders and pecs and he was about to get up when he heard Taika’s voice through the microphone.

“Cut! You’re too quick, girls, way too quick. Let’s take this from the beginning. Alright. Three, two, one… action!”

Chris felt the compresses spreading all over his skin again, much slower this time, and he tried not to smile. The ladies were being too efficient following Taika’s suggestions, squishing the water into the basin, waiting patiently for their turn, stretching the cloth with delicate moves.

“Cut cut _cuuuuuut_ ,” Taika’s voice boomed through the speakers again. “Too slow, way too slow. Do I have to do everything meself?”

Taika tossed the microphone to his assistant and walked up the steps towards the demigod-like half-nudity lying on the floor. “Here. I’ll show you.”

Chris smirked; here he goes again, he thought, taking his craft so seriously, _literally_ doing everything himself. Taika would try every outfit first, every prop, he would take selfies wearing Loki’s helmet saying he was obliged as a director to have a first-hand experience of everything (and everyone, or so the rumours said), giving his actors haircuts as well as massages. Taika was so involved in this film that Chris was sure that if his director didn’t like the catering he would cook for them himself.

“It tickles, man,” he giggled through his nose with eyes closed as Taika placed the compresses on his pecs and ribs.

“You’re supposed to be asleep,” Taika shushed him. “So, no talking. See, girls?” he raised his voice, “it’s not that hard.”

Chris heard the water dripping into the basin and felt another compress spreading on his abdomen, only this time the movements were so soft and purposeful and delicate that it felt like a lot more than a tickle.

“Alright!” Taika said removing the compresses and placing one hand on Chris’ chest, “I’ll do it one more time, watch closely. This is a man that has been beaten badly, ladies, be gentle and smooth, you’re trying not to wake him up.” Once more he placed the compresses with soft moves all over Chris’ broad pecs and when he reached his abs Chris felt a thumb making subtle but deliberate circles around his navel as the heel of Taika’s palm pressed down on his lower abdomen sending shivers down his spine. Taika kept talking, giving directions to the nurses while he kept both his hands on Chris’ body, removing them just enough to flutter them in the air for emphasis, only to place them once again on Chris, caressing his wet naked skin with barely noticeable moves of his thumb. The more Taika talked, the more difficult it was for Chris’ body not to respond to those sneaky strokes that were too brief to be noticed by the crew but persistent and focused enough to make Chris’ cock jerk wantingly in his pants. When Taika’s thumb “accidentally” brushed over his nipple Chris withheld a grunt but his heavily breathing chest didn’t go unnoticed by Taika’s possessive touch who turned just enough to see Chris bending his knee in a desperate attempt to hide his erection.

That moment Chris opened his eyes to look upon Taika who was still babbling about the importance of timing in a scene while his gaze traveled from his leading man’s sapphire eyes to his chiseled abs to his ridiculously big biceps then back to his eyes, shamelessly eye-fucking him in front of the whole cast and crew and fooling all those ignorant creatures into believing it was just bums on seats he was after.

 

When Chris brought it up later that evening he was fisting Taika’s hair, ravishing his mouth with his thumb, letting his tongue roll around it like it was candy as he fucked him savagely into Taika’s own bed.

“You just couldn’t keep your hands off me today, could you…” he said with a husky growl as he rotated his hips into Taika’s ass with a slow relentless rhythm, digging into him with his cock.

“And let-” Taika’s breath hitched with something that sounded like a suppressed giggle, or maybe it was the immense hardness splitting him open making him stutter like that. “And… let the girls get their hands on _ah!_ -all the goodies? I’ve- c-claimed those pecs, they have _mah- oh god -_ my fingerprints all over… all over them… all over th-” He squeezed his eyes shut taking small sharp breaths and let his head fall back into the pillow as Chris pounded into him harder and faster. Chris knew that filling him up until his balls were slapping against Taika’s butt cheeks was the only way to shut him up.

But no one could finish off Taika or silence him that easily, not for long. When it was his turn to fuck some humility into Chris he kept reminding him of that day’s lesson while he held him still, caging Chris’ chest with his arm, digging his fingers deeper into his shoulders, pulling his head back just to feel the sweat of his hair fill his nostrils and mouth as he made him gasp and whine for mercy into the pillow. And making Chris bite that pillow viciously was always Taika’s favourite moment when fucking that hot arrogant Aussie. As he climaxed shooting uncontrollably inside that irresistible heat, as his cock was being milked by Chris’ hungry clenching hole, he kept repeating those whispered but firm words like a mantra of pure lust and possessiveness.

_You belong to me, Chris._

_You’re mine._

_You’re-_

_AH_

_-m-_

_-mine_

_MINE_

_oh_

 

Later on, when they agreed they had enough sweating and orgasms for one evening, they decided to have an early night knowing they had a long day ahead of them but Taika insisted on going through his notes one more time before passing out from dehydration and exhaustion. He also insisted that Chris went to bed without him but Chris was decided to not leave him alone, not yet, so he made both of them a cup of soothing herbal tea.

When Chris came out to the balcony overlooking the sea Taika was frowning like he always did when going through his notes, chewing on his pencil’s pineapple topper, crossing out whole paragraphs and adding new illegible sentences with a red pen. He was so engrossed that he hardly made a move when Chris sat next to him and placed a cup of tea on the table in front of him. Chris sat back brushing his fingers through his short hair, grateful for his new haircut; this August was one of the hottest he could remember.

Seeing the director hard at work even this late at night he didn’t mind Taika being so distracted; he was adequately uplifted and entranced by their unexpected togetherness, by Taika’s slim swarthy toes peeking out of turquoise flip-flops, by the subtle twitching of his lips as he read his notes to himself biting his thumb absent-mindedly.

Chris remembered thinking “Oh fuck, he’s also hot” the first time he shook hands with this mad genius.

That moment he knew he could stare at that radiant confident face forever.

“What are you looking at?” Taika slurred without taking his eyes off his notebook.

“…Nothing,” Chris chuckled and glanced at the dark ocean as he stirred his tea with a spoon.

“You just can’t get enough of me, can ye…”

Chris winced, embarrassed, trying not to blush. “Shut _uuuup.”_

“No,” Taika insisted as he snapped his notebook shut and placed it on his lap. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

Taika blinked slowly as if he had all the time, all the patience in the world. “What you like about me. Isn’t that what you were thinking?”

“No!” Chris denied it before finally resigning. “… _Yes...”_

“C’mon then,” Taika urged him with a shrug.

“Taika, I’ll never tell you what I like about you,” Chris shook his head and took a sip.

“Why not?

“Because you’ve heard it all a thousand times before,” he said scratching his beard.

“So? It won’t be the same coming from you.

 “No,” Chris resisted with a smile.

 “Shall I tell you what I like about you then?” Taika offered crossing his fingers. “Alright. Compliment Man, to the rescue!”

“No, Taika…”

 _“Yes,_ Taika.”

The playful Māori face staring at him was determined to make him yield that night – in more than one ways.

“You’re charming,” Taika started. “You’re funny as hell. Your arms… whoa. When someone’s in the same room with you he doesn’t even have to look at them, he can _feel_ them.”

Chris chuckled as a tint of pink spread across his cheeks. He would always blush when Taika was giving him compliments, even when they were alone.

“You’re… um… alright looking? I guess?” Taika teased making Chris burst into laughter. “What, you think you’re prettier than me?” he complained raising a brow, offended at Chris’ outburst.

“No, Taika, I don’t think I’m prettier than you,” Chris reassured him cupping his knee lovingly.

“But… do you want me to tell you what _really_ makes you so appealing?” Taika’s face went serious. “It’s not your baby blue eyes or your sculpted abs or your disgustingly big biceps. You’re a great friend, Chris. You’re supportive. You make people trust you. You make people want to go on an adventure with you, and the truth is… I’m proud to be your friend. I’m really proud.”

Chris grinned from ear to ear as the familiar warmth filled his chest once again, feeling giddy as if Taika had just proposed to him.

 “I won’t say lucky though,” Taika said dryly. “You’re the one who’s lucky for having a friend like me.”

“Of course…” Chris chuckled and palmed Taika’s shoulder. He was biting his lip suppressing his laughter but his smile was soft and tender. Taika smiled back and blinked slowly; those were the sweetest eyes and that was the sweetest face Chris had ever seen, and the salty night breeze was soothing him and everything on that balcony that night was perfect and everything was making him happy.

But, somehow, somewhere, he felt he had seen such sweetness before, and he remembered having felt a different kind of happiness. He remembered big blue eyes behind classy thick glasses, a broad vibrant smile, long elegant fingers raising a cup of steamy Earl Grey. He remembered taking off the foggy glasses to wipe them, or maybe that was just an excuse to sneak a look at those huge wet eyes staring back at him, wrinkles in their corners betraying a smile that was hiding behind the glazed white ceramic. 

“Don’t stall,” the voice in the memory said. “Open it.”

Chris placed the glasses back on that beaming face and tucked a golden strand of long hair behind his ear. He picked up the small box and shook it.

“What is it? Is it a ring?” he asked incredulously _._ “Oh my GOD, Tom, we’re getting engaged? Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Stop teasing,” the voice said. “Open it.”

Chris put the box on the table and unwrapped it. As he took the lid off he slipped a finger through the ring that was attached to a chain. It was a silver surfboard key ring.

“Wow…” he muttered when he was finally able to talk.

“There’s an inscription,” Tom said. “Read it.”

“I’m…” Chris began to read. “’I’m… _Alice_ , and the ocean is my Wonderland’. WHAT?!” he guffawed. “I was expecting something deeper, something like… I don’t know… ‘Sometimes you have to ride the wave you’re given’ or-or… ‘Never let the best waves in life go by’ or something like that. Do I look like Alice in Wonderland to you?”

Tom cracked up. “Well you do have long blonde hair,” he said slipping his fingers through Chris’ strands framing his face. “And you’re wearing a blue shirt. So…”

Chris grinned happily, his generous smile beautifully bracketed by his confident clean-shaven jawline. “It’s gorgeous!” he said. “I never had a…” He tossed the tiny precious present between his fingers. “… silver surfboard key ring before. I love it,” he told Tom with a graceful wink. “I’ll never leave home without it. And who knows, maybe if I rub it it will take me to Wonderland!”

“Or maybe it will bring you back home _from_ Wonderland if you ever get lost there,” Tom added in a mysterious tone.

“Maybe it will!” Chris exclaimed putting the key ring back in the box. “Thank you, Tom… It’s… It really is beautiful.”

Tom took his hand and smiled. “Happy birthday, Chris.”

 

 

“What?...” Chris was so lost in his memory that he didn’t hear Taika’s question.

“I said, when is your birthday exactly? It’s in a week, right?”

“Yeah…” Chris said, still lost in thought. “Well less than a week, yeah, August 11.”

“I see… Look, since I already gave you a massage session I guess I’ll have to find you another present, right?”

“C’mon, Taika, you don’t need to buy me a present.”

“Sure I do. But I have no idea what to buy you. Shall we go shopping on Sunday? Think about it, no filming! What do you say?”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright,” he waved the pineapple topper at Chris. “Off you go. You need to rest now, we have a long shooting tomorrow. Off to bed.”

Chris got up taking the teacups with him and as he walked into the dark living room he heard Taika’s voice from the balcony.

“And don’t forget to make a list of all my virtues and hand it in tomorrow!”

Chris shook his head and smiled. “Yessss, Taika, whatever you say…”

As he felt his way through the dark room looking for the switch and trying not to drop the teacups he wondered whatever had happened to that silver surfboard key chain, the best and tiniest birthday present he ever got.


	4. Double chocolate chunk brownies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sunday and Taika wants to get Chris his birthday gift as promised but Chris ends up wishing they had chosen another mall for their shopping.

 

 

 

_I want to break free._

_I want to break free._

_I want to break free from your lies_

_You’re so self-satisfied I don’t need you._

_I’ve got to break free._

_God knows – God knows I want to break free._

 

It was Sunday at last. The sweltering heat wave that had been sweeping across the Gold Coast for the whole week was sending everyone who wasn’t working that day, locals as well as multitudes of tourists, to the beach; some had taken their families with them without forgetting the obligatory food containers filled with meatballs, sandwiches and bottles of lemonade, carrying with them flamingo floaties and colourful umbrellas that did little to protect them from the heat. The rest of the beach-dwellers were content with just a swimsuit and a towel; the carefree combination of the blazing sun and the cool waves lapping at the feet of those self-sufficient sea lovers was enough to keep them happy.

Taika was in a good mood that morning as he and Chris strolled through Harbour Town looking for “the perfect present for his spoiled leading actor slash unparalleled surfer slash criminally seductive thief of my broken -but now fixed- heart”. He was wearing sunglasses and his signature loden fedora and he was humming “I want to break free”. Chris thought it was too early to get a birthday present but Taika looked so happy that they were spending together a day lazing about instead of stressing over work and stealing tiny frantic moments of sex and happiness that he didn’t say anything. Taika would even break into actual singing or answer in Freddie Mercury’s accent whenever Chris light-heartedly nagged him to stop humming like an idiot in the middle of the crowd.

“C’mon, Chris, it’s my favourite Queen song,” he complained removing his glasses and hanging them on his shirt with the hand-drawn Mjolnir print.

“No it isn’t,” Chris objected half-amused, resting his hand on Taika’s neck as they walked past coffee shops and menswear outlets. “Two days ago it was ‘Play the game’. And the day before that it was ‘Don’t stop me now.’”

“Well who said I must have only one favourite Queen song?”

Chris broke into laughter and massaged Taika’s shoulder affectionately. “Nobody. You can have as many as you like.” He was always willing to indulge the shit out of him, especially when Taika was acting like a total princess.

Taika squinted one eye and raised a brow as if trying to think. “Wait… isn’t that… what you told me yesterday when I asked you how many heads I could get in one evening? But then you stopped at three. _Liar.”_

“I was dehydrated, mate, it was fucking steaming outside. You were dehydrated too at some point, it took you ages to come, remember?”

“No it didn’t, that’s my normal oral ejaculatory latency time, you’re just lazy. And we weren’t outside all the time, when those tourists came into view you dragged me inside (even if I was fine out in the balcony, _my_ balcony) where the air conditioning was working at full speed.” He shook his head in fake disapproval. “You’re so full of excuses, Chris.”

“You wanted me to give you head while that old couple strolled by? Are you sure they were in the mood to see us fucking like rabbits?” Chris chuckled.

“I don’t give two shits,” Taika retorted. “That was the balcony of the house that I gave a whole lot of money to rent and be isolated and not have to worry about intruders. They might as well look the other way.”

Chris grabbed him by the shoulder stopping him in his tracks and made him turn as he leaned over for a kiss. “You _wanted_ them to see us, admit it…” he whispered in his ear, his tongue darting out for a quick kiss making Taika’s member jerk against the zipper of his jeans. “If sex in public is your kink I can make it up to you, you know… I wouldn’t want you to have a reason to whine and whine on set tomorrow, we’ve had enough of that already.”

“When did I… _uh…_ whine again…” Taika muttered with bated breath as Chris’ tongue slid in and out of his mouth while he massaged his ribs, brushing over Taika’s nipple, feeling him up enough to make him moan through his teeth even as he grew wary of the passers-by but still incapable of holding back. 

 _“’We’re trying to shoot a movie, mate, we’re trying to shoot a movie!’”_ Chris teased mimicking his voice, “isn’t that what you told that reporter?”

“Well he kept screaming your names and Tom was spoiling them all, smiling and waving at the cameras like the fucking Queen of England on her 125th birthday, what was I supposed to do? He was the one hundred and forty two’th reporter who had disrupted my filming that day and the fifth time Tom had done that.”

 _“Your_ filming,” Chris teased caressing his neck as he leaned over for another kiss.

“Yes. _My_ filming,” Taika insisted and closed his eyes while Chris, always hungry for spontaneous displays of public affection, licked his lips apart. “It’s all mine,” Taika continued. “The sets, the script, the jokes, the designs - they’re all mine. _Mine._ You’re mine too.”

“Is that right…” Chris smiled through their kiss sucking his lower lip, fighting back the urge to grope Taika’s hard-on in front of the unsuspecting passers-by and their loud kids.

“Yes,” Taika affirmed pulling him closer to his bulging crotch. “You’re mine. I own you.”

Chris felt another hot wave rushing through his body but even during their intimate moment he couldn’t take his mind off what Taika said. He broke the kiss. “I think you should cut Tom some slack though, he just gave people what they wanted,” he said softly. “He smiled and waved to stop the reporters from shouting and, well, from disrupting _your_ filming.”

“Is that what you keep telling yourself?...” Taika snorted suppressing a giggle. “That he did it for the good of the filming?”

“That… or he really missed the attention,” Chris admitted. “He told me it was like Hall H again, back in 2013. The love of the people can be intoxicating, and he confessed that what happened at Comic-Con that day was bigger and stronger than anything he had ever felt on a mere theatre stage. Seven thousand people chanting Loki’s name, Taika, think about it.”

“Always the attention seeker, huh…” Taika smirked. “When he arrived at Mary Street to sigh autographs he even shouted at the crowds ‘I can’t hear you!’ when they were screaming his name, the little prick. And that jump he did… But yeah, it can be very addictive. I sometimes think he got too much, too soon, and now he’s missing it. What do you reckon?”

Chris furrowed his brow; it never occurred to him that he’d be talking about Tom’s problems when holding Taika in his arms, or that Taika’s irreverent talk would manage to hurt him. Taika was always joking after all and he really loved Tom, Chris knew that, he just liked dissing everybody all the time, even when they weren’t listening.

So why did it still hurt?

“I… I really don’t know…” he muttered. “I really don’t know if it’s the crowd’s attention he’s missing…”

Now it was Taika’s turn to frown at Chris’ sudden loss of words. He tilted his head from side to side as he tried to read Chris’ face who was now avoiding his gaze, figuring there was only one way to dissolve the little grey cloud of his protagonist’s untimely concern. “Well it’s over now,” he said raising his voice as he tried to break the spell of gloom. “No more filming at the Brisbane streets, no more horny fans distracting you, from now on I’ll have you boys all to myself. See if I can scream your names louder than those girls, and I don’t even need a microphone to do that.”

“Can you?...” Chris egged him on with a suggestive smirk and pulled him close once again.

“Oh I’m sure you and Tom together can make me scream loud enough to be heard all the way back to New Zealand…” Taika winked and interrupted Chris’ gleeful chortling with a kiss, relieved that he had finally managed to make him smile.

“So what do you say…” Chris said pulling back, his hands still on Taika’s waist. “I was thinking changing rooms, is that public enough for you?”

“Sure,” Taika shrugged frowning indifferently as the thought of being fucked by Chris while strangers would be trying on expensive suits right next to their naked asses was setting his imagination aflame.

 “What will it be then? Calvin Klein, Gant, Armani? Take your pick,” Chris breathed salaciously in Taika’s half-open lips. “I think the Armani shop has more changing rooms than the others, we could find an isolated booth at the far end of the corridor.”

Taika rested his hands on Chris’ chest half-closing his eyes. “You don’t understand, I don’t want the largest shop, Chris. I want the _closest.”_

“So eager…” Chris murmured in his ear giving it a naughty bite as he got even harder by his director’s impatience.

“Your fault, bro,” Taika replied and gave his butt a little squeeze before breaking the kiss to drag him by the hand. “C’mon. I need to pee first.”

As they walked towards the information desk Taika hummed his favourite Queen lyrics of the day.

_I’ve fallen in love._

_I’ve fallen in love for the first time and this time I know it’s for real._

_I’ve fallen in love._

_God knows – god knows I’ve fallen in love._

They were told by the receptionist that the closest restroom was in the center aisle of the mall but Taika was too hasty to look for it adding that he didn’t want to run into hordes of horny teenagers who’d make the too obvious choice to fuck in the first toilet available, so he picked the Coffee Club right across the aisle to relieve himself.

“And get me a double chocolate chunk brownie while you wait, will you?” Taika shouted at Chris as he walked through the tables to find the men’s room. “Get yourself one too, you’re gonna need it afterwards, energy expenditure and everything.”

Chris laughed and shook his head certain that the rosy tint on his cheeks would have the girl at the counter wonder what was wrong with him, blushing like a schoolgirl.

He paid for the brownies and went outside wondering where was the best place to fuck the living daylights out of his director, the Armani or the Gant changing rooms; those in the Armani shop were more isolated but there was too much light whereas those in the Gant shop were fewer but a bit darker, perfect for the half-lit atmosphere he was after.

And then he heard her, the husky, flat, all too familiar nasal voice.

“Heyyyyy big Chris, how’s it hanging?”

He turned, paper bag in hand, to face the blonde skinny girl from Pennsylvania in the short blue dress.

“Hey Taylor,” he said in a deadpan voice channeling a million yawns inside his chest, trying to get the right poker face just for the occasion. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Fancy meeting _you_ here!” she exclaimed flashing her pearly white teeth through cherry red lips. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be at the beach chasing sharks or collecting jellyfishes or something, it’s so hot today.”

“Yeah it’s hot,” he said grasping the paper bag tight. “Well Taika and I thought we’d do a little shopping.”

 _“Taika and I!”_ Taylor exclaimed. “Is it ‘Taika and I’ now? Wait ‘til I tell Tom that you finally moved on,” she laughed jerking her head back and took a cigarette out of the pack.

Chris would have gladly found any stupid excuse to leave her and join Taika in the toilets instead if his nagging curiosity didn't keep his feet stuck to the floor.

“Tom… uh… Tom gave me a call a few days ago. Is he ok? I haven’t seen him on set lately.”

“Did he?” Taylor winced, surprised. “I guess he butt called you.”

“He called me _twice.”_

“Well I guess he butt called you _twice,”_ Taylor quipped with a “d-uh” expression on her face. “Anyways, where’s Taika?”

Chris blinked slowly, heat rising to his face. “He’s… inside, he’s…” He hesitated; Taika was the last thing he wanted to talk about. “But… uh… what are you doing here? Shopping too?”

“Yeah, I brought Tom to get some new threads, he’s inside,” she mumbled as she pressed her lips lighting her cigarette. “It’s just too boring in there. But yeah, I told him to pick the finest fabric he could find, fashion himself a suit. I’m showing him off tonight.”

“Really…”

“Yes. _Really,”_ Taylor puffed out the smoke with a mischievous puckered smile. “I’m having friends over, they came all the way from the U.S. for him. They’re quite… excited to meet him and he’s excited too. See, they’re all quite an imaginative and fun-loving bunch.”

“Why not,” Chris said wryly, “Tom always loved meeting his crazy fangirls.”

Taylor grinned. “Who said anything about girls.”

The bag in Chris’ hands had almost been reduced to a squished ball of paper and the only thing that stopped him from screwing it up completely was the fear of Taika’s endless nagging after finding out that his double chocolate chunk brownie was nothing but a miserable pile of crumbs. However he desperately held on to that thought, Taika joining him any moment now, Taika whining, Taika _caring_.

Taylor noticed the angry lightning in his eyes and the amused smile of someone poking a caged lion with a stick spread across her face.

“He doesn’t belong to you, you know,” she added.

“Who, Tom?” Chris said struggling to keep his calm as he glanced at a young couple passing by. “Oh I know that.”

“No,” Taylor quipped and took a larger puff from her cigarette. “Taika. You may belong to him but he doesn’t belong to you.”

Chris was finally forced to face her. He turned slowly. “What do you mean?”

“Oh didn’t you know? He’s with Jemaine. You know? Jemaine Clement? Flight of the Conchords?”

“I _know_ who Jemaine is, I’ve met him,” Chris said clenching his fists.

He had never thought to ask Taika if he was in a relationship. He couldn’t tell if it had never occurred to him, or if he just didn’t care to know.

“They’ve been on and off since 1994, their first year at uni,” Taylor continued. “Mostly on now that I think of it. What, you didn’t know that? It’s common knowledge.”

“You seem to know a lot about Taika…” Chris hissed narrowing his eyes.

“Well, he once visited the set with Jemaine, they wanted to greet Kristen. Kristen Schaal? We were filming ‘Valentine’s Day’ when the boys came. She was Mel in ‘Flight of the Conchords’. Anyways, she told me all about them, I wanted to know if I could, you know, add Taika to my nights. He was very cute, still is, silver fox and everything. Although I sometimes wonder how he and Jemaine are still together, what with Taika’s promiscuousness and all.”

“Promiscuousness?...”

“Well, he has _you_ , doesn’t he? For now,” Taylor squinted and rubbed the corner of her eye trying to avoid the smoke. “His newly acquired lapdog. See how nice I am? I didn’t say ‘his little bitch.’”

“Oh heyyyy Taytay!”

Only upon hearing Taika’s voice did Chris realize he had been holding his breath. His knuckles had gone white from the clenching.

“Hiiiii Tai-Tai!” Taylor responded with equal cheerfulness holding the cigarette between her fingers.

“Long time no see!” Taika said kissing her cheek.

“Well since I landed in Australia I’ve been… busy,” she replied giving Chris a meaningful wink.

“Not too busy to visit us on set, I hope,” Taika said.

“Naaaah just bored.”

Taika opened his eyes wide as if someone had just slapped him and the large grin froze on his face. He wasn’t used to people outsassing him.

“I can guarantee you’re gonna have a lovely time with us,” he was quick to reply. “We play music on set and there’s always enough _cheese_ for everyone, see, you’re bound to feel quite at home there.”

Taylor bared her white teeth in an attempt to smile but she was unable to come up with a proper clapback, so she just put the cigarette back in her mouth.

“Anyway, Chris and I have places to be sooooo good luck, I guess. And oh…”

Taika ripped the cigarette out of her lips, dropped it on the floor and squished it with the tip of his shoe.

“Didn’t you know? It’s forbidden to smoke in all enclosed public places in Australia. It’s _common knowledge.”_

Taylor gaped in shock and rage looking daggers at Taika; still, no words came out of her tiny red mouth because she wasn’t just angry. She was spooked. There was no way Taika could have heard her conversation with Chris.

_Was there._

“What?” Taika continued. “I just prevented you from paying a large fine. See you later, Taytay, and say hi to Tom for me.”

He slipped his hand around Chris’ arm and walked away with him.

“Tell me I just saved you, Chris.”

“I just saved you, Chris,” the actor teased him.

“Gosh, you're such a baby _…”_ Taika laughed and dragged him away from Taylor as her tall bespectacled boyfriend came out of the shop with a blue suit folded on his arm, staring at their backs as they exited the mall.


	5. The phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taika is not all smiles and jokes. The people who know him well have seen his dark side.  
> But not everyone knows him well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by [this vid. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRtMlgNJYzk)  
> 

                                                                        

 

Taika didn’t like getting phone calls. He preferred text messages, especially when he was stressed while filming, that’s why he always told his people to text him first so that he’d call them back. He couldn’t stand the ringing, not even the buzzing when he put it on silent, that continuous nagging sound in his pocket. Buzzing and ringing was always accompanied by ominous things, things and words and feelings he’d rather forget. There was a time when he was forced to call every week, every day, “because that’s what good sons do”, and as the years passed he started feeling relieved when there was no answer.

At first not getting an answer was hurtful. He was a little boy, he was told to call, “daddy would love that”. Sometimes he would wait and wait as the waiting signal was beating like a drum in his ear but daddy wouldn’t answer and the boy at the other end of the line would hang up with a crumpled and sweaty list of things to say in his hand, and a dull hurtful choke in his throat.

When he was very little, before he started writing down lists and making those phone calls, he had no reason to feel the emptiness of not having his father around. His parents separated when he was still a baby, besides they were never married. Then he went to school and although most students lived with their moms, some of them would have both parents waiting for them at home. That’s when Taika realized what it meant to not get hugs from both his mom and his dad after school.

He always made lists of things to talk about as far back as he could remember himself, ever since he was able to write whole sentences. From age seven to ten he’d write down what he wanted to tell his father in case he forgot because he knew most times he wouldn’t find him on the phone, dad was busy as grandma would say. For a whole week he would keep that list folded in his drawer, the only space in nanny’s small house that was his alone whenever he stayed with her, so as not to forget the things he wanted to share with dad until he could finally reach him.

Then the list’s function changed. From age eleven to fourteen it existed only to help him fill the long pauses of awkwardness with some sort of blabbering, “Topics To Talk About With Dad”, because he just couldn’t bear the silence and it was hard to improvise a happy casual chat when his father was not in a talkative mood, or when he was distracted by his painting which was the case most of the times. It was around that period that Taika wished no one would pick up the phone, and he would sigh with relief whenever his father didn’t answer. Soon “Topics To Talk About With Dad” was replaced by the title “Shits I’m Supposed To Say To Taika To Make Him Feel Good About Himself” until, at age fifteen, there was no list at all. Because he decided there would be no more phone calls, no more failed attempts to be a “good son”, no more awkward silence, no more waiting.

It was around that time that his father, Taika Waititi Senior, started catching up with the fact that he had a son in puberty and he would always return the phone calls when he was done painting, probably urged by nanny’s nagging and sometimes, only sometimes, by Taika Junior’s mother.

Teenage Taika wondered why he didn’t like the fact that his father was finally returning his rare phone calls. He couldn’t put his finger on it. The ringing in the hall would always stress him out, he’d rather be sketching or writing stories up in his tiny room than standing in front of the TV and pretending to be interested in what Taika Senior had to say while trying to avoid his mother’s eyes. What a waste of time that was for a busy and creative teenager.

 

And what a waste of time it was now. He rubbed his grizzly beard as the waiting tone bleeped monotonously. While he was wondering what got into him, why he felt compelled now and then to contact his father for no particular reason, he kept scratching nervously a piece of paper with his pen, doodling hammers with sunglasses, giants made of rock and women with antlers. He looked at himself in the mirror, suddenly feeling very old.

“Oh hi, Viv, is that you? Yes, hi,” he blurted out looking down at his shoes as he played idly with his back pocket. “Yes. I know, I know. It’s been a while, look, is Taika there, can I talk to him? Yes, great.”

He added some more antlers to the woman until she looked like Medusa on crack and quickly smudged her face when he heard that old husky voice.

“Hey Taika, how are you doing,” he murmured. “Nothing, just to see how you’re doing. Is Viv ok? Great, that’s great. No, I just thought to call you, is everything ok with your tooth now? Good, good.”

Most times he would hang up within five minutes, there was never much to say, after all Taika Junior was busier now than his father ever was. But sometimes the old hurtful choke would settle back in his throat, and no matter how much he tried to be a good son the choke would remain even after the phone call had ended. To make matters worse, this was one of those times when his father would choose to be more of a pain in the ass than an elusive distracted painter. Sometimes Taika thought this was his way of being a “good father” but the truth was that he’d rather have the elusive distracted painter anytime.

“Yes, da-… Yes, _Taika,_ still filming in Australia,” Taika repeated his father’s words, licking and biting his lips nervously. “No, well, I can’t really catch a plane right now, can I? You know how that is… No, I didn’t forget your birthday, didn’t you get the package I sent you? Well, I’m sorry you didn’t pick it up, it must be still at the post office or something,” he said brushing his fingers through his messy hair. “Wait, what, what do you mean I’m absent, what do you mean by that? I’m-I’m busy, dad, okay? Listen, just listen-…Yes, I know you never really asked for anything and you never pushed me to do anything and you never pushed me to be anything else than what I wanted to be and I’m  grateful for that, I’m fucking grateful, but the truth is… THE TRUTH IS, DAD- … Ok, _SHUT UP!_ Just shut up for a bit, will ya? The truth is, Taika, that you never pushed me at all because _you were never there to push me!..._ You were never _there!”_ he paused listening to his father complaining and he moved the phone to his other ear, resting his hand on his waist as he drummed his fingers.

He grunted impatiently rolling his eyes. “Oh is that how it is now?” he nodded with a sarcastic smile, eyes wide open with surprise. “Is that how it is? Oh go ahead, yeh go ahead, yes I’m ‘searching the world’, go ahead, call it that, I call it fucking _WORKING_. Yes, it’s more than you ever did whether you like it or not. Oh yeah you got that right, you know me _so_ well, don’t you, yes ‘I’m still looking for myself at age forty one’, well how about that, maybe I’ll never find me, who knows, what do you care, _WHAT DO YOU CARE?_ You never cared, dad, you never cared, so why do you care now? Why do you- _FUCK!”_ he yelled and hung up staring at the phone’s orange menu. “Yes, go on, hang up on me, you dickhead, I should have hung up on you years ago,” he spat tossing the phone on the bed.

He stood there for a long painful minute, rubbing his closed eyelids, wincing hard as he tried to hold back the tears. He took a deep shaky breath reminding himself he had a vid to make for the audience attending the screening of “What we do in the shadows” later that day somewhere in Tulsa, Oklahoma, wherever _that_ was...

He dragged a chair in front of the mirror and started filming himself for his fans. He wished he could come up with a happier message but there was no time to find his secret stash of Emergency Happy Smiles, he had to upload the vid right away.

He looked at his tired reflection. There were times when he pictured two lions fighting in his head tearing at each other with their claws, keeping him awake, others when he’d wake up in cold sweat in the middle of the night wondering what he was doing with his life, and others when he’d drunk tweet about Leonard Cohen’s death, admitting bitterly that his music was there for him more than his father ever was.

This time he just regretted making that damn phone call and wished he could finally fight the urge to do it after all these years of trying and failing. His birthday was approaching, he’d blow the candles and who knows, he might get his wish this time: to not have to dial that fucking number ever again.

“I’m sorry, nanny…” he said with a soft whimper and squeezed the bridge of his nose, pursing his lips in a futile attempt to hold back the tears.

Maybe he wasn’t a ‘good son’ to her son after all.

Maybe he didn’t want to be a ‘good son’.  

Maybe no one cared.

 

He heard the jingling of keys, quickly wiped his nose and sprung to his feet as the door opened.

“Hey Chris,” he said cheerfully pushing away his chair, “you were quick, bro.”

“Not so quick, bro, I got stuck in the traffic. I was worried the food would get cold, I brought you some Chin-… _Hey.”_ Chris paused staring at Taika’s wet eyes. “Are you ok?”

“Yes, yes I’m fine,” Taika tried to reassure him and rubbed his nose with the heel of his palm.

“You don’t look so fine to me,” Chris said, alarmed at Taika’s state. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, uuuh…” Taika hesitated shoving his hands in his back pockets. “I’m good! Really! I am!” he said grinning from ear to ear.

 _“Taika?”_ Chris insisted leaving the bags of food on the bed. “Look at me,” he said grasping his shoulders. “What is it?”

Taika blinked slowly, his heavy eyelids still wet with tears. “Nothing. I was just talking to my father. He’s… He and I… Well we’re not on such good terms, we don’t really talk. And when we do…” He gave a weak shrug, unable to form any more words, gulping down hard; tears were welling up in his eyes again. “When we do it’s just… It’s just…” He wiped his nose furrowing his brows and stared down avoiding Chris’ eyes. His lips were quivering. He felt bad for letting Chris see him in such a sorrowful state.

“Come here…” Chris whispered softly and hugged him, enveloping him in his strong arms as he clasped the back of his head. While he was caressing his hair he felt Taika’s warm tears run down his cheek.  But Taika made no sound, as if he was too proud to sob in front of him.

“Chris?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” Taika murmured in his shoulder. The last word came out in a weak broken whimper.

“Of course not!” Chris replied running a hand down his back.

“Sometimes I think I am…” Taika said regretfully.

“You’re not bad, Taika,” Chris said squeezing him tighter. “You’re the nicest, kindest human being I’ve ever met.”

“Do you really mean that?” Taika said, his voice trembling with doubt.

“Of course I mean that.”

“But nice persons sometimes do bad things… Things that hurt others…”

“Why, did you kill anyone?”

“No,” Taika shook his head. He couldn’t laugh, not yet. “But… you know… I mean you don’t know what dark secrets I may have.”

“You? Dark secrets?”

“I do have some…” Taika replied, his voice betraying a hint of guilt.

“Well, no one is perfect,” Chris muttered planting soft kisses on his forehead, ignoring his sudden unwillingness to look at him. “I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect.”

“What do you mean I’m not perfect?” Taika jerked in his arms feigning offense. The shadow of guilt and fear in his face was now gone. “Have you ever seen big brown eyes like mine?” he said as the last of his tears ran down his cheeks.

“No,” Chris chuckled.

“Chiseled cheekbones like mine?”

“No.”

“Rich silver hair like mine?”

“No.”

“Biceps like mine? – no wait, those are _your_ biceps,” Taika corrected himself squeezing Chris’ arm.

Chris roared with laughter and wrapped his arms around him even tighter than before. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes.”

“Great,” he whispered as he palmed Taika’s cheeks and caught his mouth in a kiss, tongue slicking slowly, attentively over his lips. “Let’s go eat.”

 

 

                                                                                                                              ***

 

“Hey Taika, happy birthday, mate.”

Chris was leaning on the bar of the most expensive restaurant in Benowa with his phone in one hand, the menu in the other. He was wearing sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat but that didn’t prevent some curious customers from sneaking glances at the tall stranger with the familiar face and the deep voice. It was early in the morning but Chris thought he’d be the first to wish his director happy birthday.

“Hey Chris…” Taika’s sleepy voice was heard from the other end of the line. He yawned. “Wait, what day is it?”

“August the 16th, did you forget it’s your birthday, bro?” Chris teased him.

“No I _didn’t,”_ Taika snapped with fake annoyance. “Thanks for waking me up to remind me I’m a year older.”

“Older but wiser,” Chris soothed him. “Do you want to guess what I’m wearing?”

“Nothing, I hope…?” Taika said lowering his voice. “Look, Chris, if we’re going to have phone sex again this is not the right time, ok? You may have taken the day off today but I’ll be working my ass off.”

“No, genius,” Chris responded, “I’m wearing the baby blue shirt, the one you bought me for _my_ birthday. And I was thinking, since I suck at choosing gifts, to take you out to dinner tonight. I just made a reservation at the Videre, it has a panoramic view of the coast and specializes in French cuisine, it’s really beautiful.”

“You’re not gonna have me eat frog legs, are ye?”

“No, Taika,” Chris said removing his sunglasses to read the menu, “we’ll have… let’s see… pork belly with chargrilled apple puree and poached salmon ballantine or steamed kingfish fillet. No frog legs, I promise.”

“No frog legs, got it,” Taika chuckled. “It all sounds mouth-watering, Chris… But I’m afraid I have to nope out. I can’t make it tonight.”

Chris frowned. “You have other plans for your birthday?” he mumbled hesitantly, bewildered by his lover’s unexpected refusal.

“Yeh, _no,_ look, it’s gonna be a long day today on set and the truth is I can’t even get out of bed right now, it will be a miracle if I get through today. Just tired. Exceedingly, outrageously tired.”

“You ok, mate?”

“Yeh, I’m cool, I just had a phone call yesterday and it kept me up all night.”

“Your father again?...” Chris said, worried.

Taika didn’t answer right away. “Well let’s just say it was a long night and it took its toll on me. Sometimes you’re trying to forget but people just won’t leave you alone, you know?...” He took a deep breath. “But I promise I’ll make it up to you. I promise. Pinky swear.”

“I know all about your pinky swears, Taika,” Chris laughed shaking his head.

“No. This time it’s for real, I promise. I’ll call you, ok? Love ya.”

“…Love you too…” Chris mumbled reluctantly. “I guess.”

But Taika had already hung up.

Chris left the menu on the bar, cancelled the reservation trying hard not to pout and put his glasses back on.

Not spending the evening of Taika’s birthday with him was a huge bummer for Chris. He had been day dreaming about them having dinner at some fancy restaurant (with some fancy toilets) for a whole week, and that was the reason he had woken up early that day, to walk through all the best restaurants in the area and pick the one with the best atmosphere, the best menu, the best view _and_ the best toilets.  Visiting the men’s room after dinner would certainly be on that evening’s menu, and it would all be for Taika.

_If Taika was there._

As Chris walked out of the building he took an aimless look around, frustrated at this new turn of events. He kicked a pebble in the street, disappointed and concerned. Somehow Taika’s response didn’t satisfy him. He wondered what to do with the rest of his day now that his plans were ruined. He decided that after he was done shopping he could just spend the day surfing. That would at least keep his mind busy for a good chunk of the day.

Without thinking he took out the phone to scroll down his contacts. It was a habit he had acquired back in 2009, a habit he could never kick, not even after the fall out two years ago. “The Fall Out”. He could never say “the break up”’, he hated that word and everything it meant. If he said “break up” it would mean they had a relationship. But they didn’t, not really, did they?...

He scrolled down past “H” and wondered for a split second why the name wasn’t there. Had he deleted it? No, of course not. He just hadn’t added the surname all those years ago, he didn’t need to.

Just the first name. It was enough.

He kept scrolling until he reached “T”.

His thumb hovered over the three-letter word for a whole tormenting minute. It made tiny circles in the air as he wondered if it was advisable to call someone who was probably spending his time right now with the most annoying brat in the music industry, bathing with her in their penthouse’s jacuzzi or planning to have threesomes or foursomes or n-somes with her slutty empty-headed friends later that evening. And some hunks probably.

Maybe none of that was happening of course. Maybe Tom was just sitting in the balcony of his Pepper residence overlooking the ocean, adjusting his glasses on his aquiline nose, sipping tea, reading a book or a newspaper. Maybe Taylor was out shopping with her brainless friends and Tom was alone. It was now or never, Chris thought taking a deep breath.

His thumb touched the phone icon without realizing that at the same time he was having an incoming call from that same name. He was too distracted to notice as he was crossing the street, looking at both sides, careful not to be ran over by a passing jeep that made enough noise to cover the phone’s momentary melodic ringing. He changed his mind right away and pressed down on the icon without realizing he had just rejected a call.

He didn’t give it further thought, Tom was the last person who would want to hear his whining.

Chris was sure he could find someone else.

 

 

                                                                                                                          ***

 

The waves were singularly large and gratifying that day. Chris was enjoying the violent slapping of spray in his face and the sun in the sky and the adrenaline in his veins. There was nothing like surfing, he thought, it always washed his troubles away, and he never missed a chance to thank his father for teaching him that way of life. Sure his problems and concerns would be waiting for him back home as soon as he unlocked that door but for those happy three hours he was easy as a Sunday morning. He was free.

When he finally decided he had drunk enough sea water for one day he took his surfboard out to the beach and sat on the sand next to Idris. His colleague was nice enough to accept his invitation on a very short notice.

“You didn’t surf, you coward,” Chris said pushing Idris’ elbow.

“Next time I will,” Idris promised, “and then we’ll have a kickboxing workout. You and me.”

“Deal,” Chris agreed cheerfully, blowing out salty water with a snort.

“You know, me and Sabrina went out with Tom and Taylor the other day,” Idris said. “He was asking how you were doing. That was odd. Don’t you guys talk on set?”

Chris huffed and wrapped an arm around his knee. “Well we do. When it’s necessary. I mean we usually talk about our scenes together or watch the day’s footage when we’re done but that’s it, we don’t really talk about things outside work.”

“That’s strange…” Idris muttered. “Tom said he wanted to tell you something but you weren’t answering his calls. Something about the Nine Roads.”

“The Nine Roads? What Nine Roads? You mean the Nine Realms?”

“No!...” Idris said absent-mindedly. His voice was now deeper and he was staring at the ocean with an eerie pensive look on his face as if he had just spotted a mermaid in the waves but for some strange reason the sight was too commonplace for him to mention it. “At first I thought he said ‘nine rabbit holes’, I swear that’s how it sounded, something about the Bifrost being a rabbit hole, and then he changed that, he said ‘nine roads’. Or was it ‘nine yellow brick roads’? Ok I’m quite sure now he talked about a yellow crossroad, on your way to Lockyer Valley. Somewhere on the Warrego Highway. He said you’d see a flickering light there. You’d stop. A lamp or something.”

“Driis, you’re not making any sense, mate,” Chris said. “You sure he wasn’t high?”

“Tom never gets high,” Idris said in a severe tone. “Taylor does. She was in the ladies’ room when Tom told me all that, and he stopped abruptly as soon as she came back to our table, as if he didn’t want her to hear. Man, she was so high, I could see her pupils, and she was giggly and rubbing her nostrils all the time.”

“This talk is crazy…”

“I know. I thought it was weird too. But… Ok now I remember. Tom wanted to talk to you urgently. He said he was afraid of something. He said that… He said that _Sakaar is real_. Yes, that’s exactly what he wanted me to tell you. ‘Sakaar is real.’I have no idea what he meant though.”

“Ok this is surreal. I think you drank a bit too much sea water, mate, and it went into your brain. C’mon, it’s getting cold,” Chris said and got up.

“Nah, I’m staying a bit longer. The sunset is going to be magnificent, can’t miss that.”

“Suit yourself,” Chris shrugged and lifted his surfboard from the sand. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow!” Idris said lifting his hand to wave goodbye, not taking his eyes off the sea.

Chris hadn’t taken more than five steps when he heard Idris’ voice again.

“Hey Chris! You dropped something.”

He turned and walked back to Idris, bending over his outstretched hand. “That’s yours, isn’t it?” Idris said.

Chris furrowed his brow as he felt the water trapped in his wetsuit chilling him to the bone. He couldn’t believe he was looking at that tiny thing. He hadn’t seen it since 2014. He hadn’t seen it since the fall out.

_This cannot be happening._

In Idris’ dark-skinned palm, in the middle of a handful of sand, lay a key and its shiny key ring.

The silver surfboard key ring.

 

“Thanks, mate,” he told Idris as the cool afternoon air was sending shivers down his spine and he took the key in his hand, staring at it as if he had just found a tiny bottle with the words “Drink me” on the label. “Didn’t realize I had lost it.”

“No,” Idris nodded slowly. “I guess you didn’t."

"But... Ok this is so weird. I had lost it for two whole years. How did it end up here?"

"Well, you know what they say," Idris said as he played with the sand, "sometimes the things that we lost come back to us. Or we go back to them.”

 

 

Going back home Chris stored his surfboard in the garage and had a quick hot bath to wash away the salt and the dryness. When he was done he looked at the watch. It was still early, still 7 p.m. He took out his phone again and went straight for his “favourite contacts”. Taika’s name was first, those five familiar letters giving out a bright, tempting light that was warming his heart and filling his head with raunchy fantasies.

He glanced at the silver surfboard key ring that was left on a shelf, then looked back at the name on the screen. The sudden reappearance of the key ring after two whole years was creeping him out. How could that tiny thing be lost for so long and then reappear at the beach out of nowhere?

He shook his head, he didn’t want to think about it that evening, and put the phone back in his pocket.

He decided there was no reason to call Taika, if he was staying in for the night because he was tired Chris might as well pay him a visit, maybe even buy Chinese on his way there. He took the keys of the car with him and went out.

 

There was no traffic this time so he arrived at Taika’s seaside home in less than an hour. He got out of the car taking the bags of food with him and walked across the lawn and through the gate with the white pediment, peering through the dark, searching for some light in the house. There was a weak solitary light coming from the kitchen window on the first floor.

Chris smiled. So Taika was home and awake.

 _Awesome_.

Even if he didn’t want company that night and was busy planning next day’s filming he’d surely appreciate the food, because Chris knew he sometimes forgot to eat for a whole day, especially when he was stressed and busy. Chris knew he’d be happy to just leave the Chinese on the table, make out maybe and piss off if he had to, if Taika didn’t want company after all. He just wanted to see him, see if he was ok and stop worrying for no reason.

He walked up the steps of the front door and lifted his clenched fist to knock, still not sure if Taika would be pleased by his unexpected visit. Taika could be moody like that, one minute hugging everyone at the party and jumping from table to table, greeting and talking to every single soul in the room, the other minute spending the rest of the evening at the balcony away from everyone, smoking sometimes, craving silence and privacy and making you feel like a piece of shit if you dared intrude his precious solitude.

Chris just wasn’t sure if he’d get a kiss or a scolding. He wasn’t prepared, and surely didn’t deserve a scolding on Taika’s birthday. However some devilish coincidence was about to release him from his dilemma.

He heard footsteps behind him as someone walked through the gate; he turned and tried to discern the man’s face in the dark.

The visitor certainly looked familiar. He was tall, maybe not as tall as Chris, and he was wearing thick black rimmed glasses and a snap-button T-shirt. His dark hair ended in long sideburns. In a single frightful second Chris remembered everything Taika had told him the past few days, the bad person speech, the dark secrets, the unexplained guilt in his voice, the mysterious phone call that had kept him awake the previous night. It wasn’t his father, he thought numbly, it was this man, and Chris knew him. He fucking knew him. He knew him because they had met before.

He suddenly wished he had never left home that evening, he wished he had never bought Chinese, he wished he had never come out of his car. But it was too late, the man was already standing in front of him, giving him a broad gap-toothed smile.

Chris tried hard to not crush the paper bags in his hands.

He should have known. The yellow-haired brat had warned him. He was such an idiot.

He didn’t scream. He wanted it so bad, but he didn’t. He took a deep breath instead and smiled graciously in the moonlight.

 

“Oh hi, Jemaine.”


	6. The doll house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris wants to confront Taika about Jemaine but Taika is not helping.

                                                                              

 

 

The following day Chris didn’t ask Taika how he had spent his birthday. He didn’t ask about Jemaine’s sudden appearance. He didn’t even ask him if he was feeling better. He thought all that was irrelevant to his work and if Taika had something to say, well, he’d say it. After all Chris was too tired to care about anything. He had spent the whole night staring at the ceiling.

Taika didn’t bring it up either. Chris thought he should confront him at some point, surely Jemaine had already told him they had bumped into each other in Taika’s front yard the night before but if Taika did know, he seemed to be outrageously calm.

 _Or just indifferent_ , Chris thought fiddling with Tessa’s sword.

“Will you stop playing with that dildo?” Taika woke him from his dark thoughts.

“What?...”

“I said, will you stop playing with that dildoooooo,” Taika yelled cupping his hands around his mouth and leaned back on Valkyrie’s comet chair. “Your ADHD is _exhausting_ , bro.”

The set they were working on that day looked like a huge doll house painted green and white and filled with colourful bottles (Valkyrie’s inexhaustible alcohol stash), with its fourth wall missing as if waiting for a gigantic kid to play with his toys. The sarcasm of the situation didn’t escape Chris - the kid was right there with them, a “big kid” indeed, and looking at his own red cape and shiny green epaulettes he suddenly realized how much he looked like a toy. A blown up action figure, a puppet, ready to be played with and tossed away as soon as the kid got bored of him.

_A lapdog._

Chris flinched remembering Taylor’s words.

 

But wasn’t that always the case with Taika?

A chronic case of boredom.

Maybe that was one of the reasons why he didn’t just direct his actors like any normal director would do; he would befriend them, win their trust, make them fall in love with him and do everything he wanted - and all that “for the sole purpose of controlling them”. Those were his exact words.

Taika liked to call that honesty.

Chris called it cynicism.

He understood now how cruel that method was, cold and calculating, as he relived every moment he had spent with his director through the eyes of an insecure control freak who got under his actor’s skin and into his bed only to collaborate better with him, to get a better performance.

Or just to get another ego trip.

This was just a game after all and Chris had made it all too easy for him, hadn’t he.  

 

He put the Dragonfang back on the table next to some bottles and a bowl of grapes.

“You distracted today, Chris?” Taika murmured raising a concerned brow as he flipped a page of the script. “You said ‘Mark’ instead of ‘Banner’ twice.”

The pencil with the pineapple topper was in his hands once again, scratching under his lip. Chris remembered how stressed, insecure and obsessed Taika looked chewing on all those pens and pencils while he struggled for days to stay away from him, trying to persuade himself to never touch his gorgeous leading man again. Whenever he fell asleep on Taika, exhausted after having spent the whole evening finding new ways to make him orgasm as Taika moaned in delightful pain and ecstasy, whenever he saw his beautiful Māori name glimmer on the phone, those chewed pens, scattered all over the floor, would come back to him like a fond memory, like a tiny detail from the early days of their relationship that reminded him how tormented Taika had felt about keeping this up, this sweet sinful thing, this… secret. Chris used to feel so proud of those chewed pens.

But now he knew the real reason behind Taika’s guilt, the reason why he tried to stay away from him after the first time they made love in Chris’ trailer, the reason why there were all those chewed pens scattered all over the floor.

It was Jemaine.

How ironic was that. There was not a single trace of biting on the pineapple pencil because Taika was calm as a breeze, his immaculate white shirt with the blue tie reflecting his mood and sending a very clear message: life was simple. He had achieved what he wanted. He had fucked his protagonist in every possible position, in every possible way, and he knew very well he was settled in Chris’ thoughts for as long as he wanted, as long as the filming lasted. As long as it was necessary.

There was nothing left to do; mission accomplished. Life was as simple and uncomplicated as a blue tie on a white shirt.

Taika spoke again but Chris didn’t hear him - all he could think of was smashing that smug and calm pineapple pencil to pieces.

“Yes I’m good, I’m good,” he answered after a few seconds swiping a hand across his beard as he avoided Taika’s eyes. He glanced at the big grey chest on the other side of Valkyrie’s apartment, a dozen chains all over it.

“Where’s Tom?”

“Oh I’m sure he’ll come,” Taika reassured him hastily turning another page. “We don’t need him anyway.”

“What did you say?...”

 Taika blinked idly at Chris’ unexpected reaction. “I said we might not need him today. We’re doing your close-ups. You know, Thor’s childhood memory.” He got up as Mark, Chris and Tessa gathered round him for some spontaneous brainstorming on what the scene should be like, and he asked Chris what he thought of the idea of Thor talking about Loki’s prank when they were kids.

“Yeah, I think it’s awesome, let’s do it,” Chris said clapping his hands impatiently.

“I didn’t ask you if it’s awesome, I _know_ it’s awesome, it’s my idea,” Taika quipped with his usual cockiness. “I asked what you think Loki should turn into before stabbing Thor.”

“What?... Oh. Right. Well, he could turn into a frog, right?”

“Naaah, we’ve already talked about that during the play scene in Asgard. Anything else?”

“A pigeon?”

Taika wiggled his nose, undecided. “Not funny enough. Think, Chris, think.”  

Chris felt his cheeks flushing. “A flat tire? A piano? A safe? A submarine? What, Taika, _what?”_ he snapped raising his voice with each word, agitated. “Tell me what you want me to say and I’ll say it, I’ll fucking say it, just decide, okay?”

Taika furrowed his brow. “Whoa. Are we in a mood today,” he muttered with a scornful look as he sat down on the grey chest where Loki’s place should be.

_Tom’s place._

“No, I’m cool,” Chris said rubbing his brow, regretting every word. “It’s just that I had a rough night, mate, I’m sorry. Won’t happen again. Just a bit of a headache, that’s all.”

Taika considered him for a while as he scratched his chin with the pineapple pencil thoughtfully before returning to his notes, shrugging. “I could give you a massage later today if I’m not too busy.”

Chris glared at him, wondering if that was yet another invitation for casual sex or if Taika was just trying to get rid of him and his “headache” because he was just too busy to care.

Too busy filming, too busy with Jemaine waiting on him back at his house by the sea; right now he was probably preparing dinner for two or something.

 Judging by Taika’s indifferent absent-minded tone, Chris decided it was the latter.

“It’s ok, Taika,” he growled through his teeth and turned his back on him. “Wouldn’t want to keep you from your _work...”_

_***_

 

It was finally lunch break. Chris hurried out of the set before anyone else and entered the cafeteria with plenty of empty tables to choose from. He chose the one at the far end of the room, the most isolated one.

He had never coveted lunch break like he did now. It wasn’t the food itself, he was still on a diet eating chicken, brown rice and broccoli, sometimes switching to vegan with beans and veggie burgers. He just wanted this day to be over and stay as far away from people as possible. Everyone said his performance was flawless, his improvisation hilarious, but isn’t that what friends and colleagues always told him?

_Apart from Taika of course. Taika was relentless._

Chris could always tell when someone was sucking up to him and he’d make them stop right away, but he could also tell when his performance wasn’t perfect, when friends were just pulling their punches for him just because he was in a mood. It didn’t happen often but when it did, he felt terrible. And what he did today for the cameras… it just wasn’t enough.

He heard a tray being dragged next to his and lifted his heavy forehead from his clenched fist.

“Moody today, bro?”

Taika’s slender figure slid next to him on the bench, an amiable tight-lipped grin spreading from ear to ear, if not a little forced.

_And fake._

Chris went back to his meal, torturing a piece of broccoli with his fork. If he could slice it to any smaller particles than he already had, soon that cafeteria would witness a nuclear fission.  “Nah, just tired. Sorry for earlier,” he said grumpily.

“Not a prob.”

Chris turned to Taika. He knew the director was there to stay so he might as well start the conversation himself. “Did you have that on this morning?” he said nodding at Taika’s red shirt with the white flowers.

“No,” Taika shrugged. “Different mood, different outfit.”

“Huh. So what does that shirt say about you now?’

“Nothing. Just in a good mood. Nice things are happening, the filming is going well,” he said rubbing his thighs with enthusiasm. “Can’t say the same about _your_ mood though.”

So that’s how it was going to be, Chris thought. Even if he was reluctant to confront Taika about the previous night Taika wasn’t giving him a choice. Maybe he wasn’t as thick-skinned as Chris thought, sensing the hostility on set and wanting to do something about it. Or maybe he just couldn’t have his leading man pouting and scowling all day, it was counter-productive and it sure didn’t look good on camera. “Time to be a director” and all that.

Taika was willing to be his friend, his lover, his therapist – and it was all part of the filming process.

Chris sighed and let go of his fork; splitting the broccoli’s atom would have to wait.

“Look, mate, I think we should take a break for a while,” he said letting out a deep breath, dreading Taika’s reaction.

“Take a break from what?”

Chris glared up at him. He was starting to wonder if Taika was there to talk things out or piss him off even more.

“From… this,” he said moving his finger nervously back and forth, pointing at them both.

Taika jerked his head back with his big brown eyes open wide, startled at Chris’ words. “What do you mean take a break? Why?”

_He really wanted to push it, didn’t he._

“Well I mean… it’s not going anywhere, is it?” Chris slurred.

That was _not_ what he meant to say. He wanted to talk about the bespectacled man with the sideburns and the gap-toothed smile that he had seen in Taika’s yard the previous night.

Even thinking about his name hurt.

Taika burst into laughter shoving away his tray to avoid landing face first into his Bolognese. He just sat there laughing for a while, squeezing his eyes, shoulders shaking uncontrollably, his crazy giggling making quite a few heads turn.

“Where exactly do you want _‘this’_ to go, Chris? The altar? Moving in together? A… flatting situation?”

Taika was quoting “What we do in the shadows” now, that’s how funny this situation was to him. And it was driving Chris _insane_.

“Alright. Forget it. Forget I ever mentioned it.”

He got up.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Taika said grabbing his wrist.

He looked up at Chris and his eyes were dark and piercing. He wasn’t giggly anymore. It was as if every single giggle had been squeezed out of him.

Chris averted his eyes, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, biting his lip in an effort to not say another word. Words would do more harm than good right now.

But Taika was determined to not let it go. “Hey, man, look into my eyes,” he urged him. “LOOK INTO MY EYES, CHRIS.”

Chris shook his head slowly struggling to be polite but his smile looked more like a wince. “I’m not in the mood, Taika.” He didn’t know how much longer he could stay calm.

“I don’t care what you are. I said look into my eyes,” Taika said firmly, squeezing Chris’ wrist even harder.

Then he let go. With a heavy heart Chris turned to look at him.

“Are you… falling in love with me?...” Taika said, a trace of fear turning his voice into a doubtful squeak.

Chris felt his stomach twisting into a knot. That wasn’t the kind of sweet doubt that comes out of the lips of a lover too insecure to believe he had finally found true love. It was the jaded surprise of someone who had been too honest all his life to let anyone misjudge his intentions. And Chris knew that. He wanted to forgive him but he remembered it wasn’t just his fault if they were having this conversation now. It was also Taika’s with all his lies about meeting Jemaine the previous night, the on-and-off life-long partner who was probably done making dinner for two and was calling Taika to see how he was, if Chris could judge by the buzzing that was coming from Taika’s pocket.

“Will you answer that?” he said agitated trying to change the subject.

“Not unless you answer yours,” Taika replied pointing at Chris pocket. His phone was buzzing too but Chris was too angry to notice.  

“Answer the call, Taika, you never know who might be calling you. Might be a matter of life and death,” he said sarcastically. “Might be your _‘father.’”_

“YOU answer the call, Chris. Between the two of us you’re the one who should worry about his… well, his _loved_ ones. And you’re just not answering that call. Pick up the goddamn phone!”

He seemed pretty concerned now but Chris had no idea what he was talking about. Probably evading as usual.

“I’m – I’m not answering the fucking call,” Chris said moving back and forth, undecided on whether he should listen to Taika or walk away, or just punch him in the face. “And stop repeating what I say, this is not about me.”

Taika took his phone out of the pocket to see who it was but didn’t let Chris see the name on the screen.

“Man, you _desperately_ need that massage session,” Taika murmured, already distracted by his phone. “Too bad I can’t accommodate you today.”

“Fuck off, Taika,” Chris spat and walked out of the cafeteria, rushing by Mark and Tessa who wanted to invite him to their table, ignoring the persistent buzzing in his pocket.

Until it went silent again. 


End file.
